Author's Notes: Thanks to Renee, who asked "is this part of the Haloween Challenge?" And, as always, the folks at The Sentinel joke list - SenWit - for the joke to rewrite.

Late one dark and rainy night Daniel was walking home alone when he hears a.......

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP... behind him.

Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, Daniel begins to run towards his apartment, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him ...

faster...

faster...

BUMP...

BUMP....

BUMP.

He runs up to the door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the coffin crashes through the door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

clappity-BUMP...

on the heels of the terrified man....

Rushing into the bathroom, Daniel locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin starts breaking down the door.

Bumping and clapping towards him.

Daniel screams and reaches for something heavy, anything ... his hand comes to rest on a large bottle of

ROBITUSSIN .

Desperate, he throws the Robitussin as hard as he can at the apparition, and...

the coffin stops.