"Hi, I'm here to give you a lecture on physics," Sam told the bored Academy cadets.

"You wrote that equation wrong," Haley pointed out grumpily.

"Haley!" the regular professor rebuked. "Sam is a Goddess and would never, ever, miswrite an equation! Go to your room!"

Haley flounced out, flipping the bird over her shoulder and kicking the wastebasket on the way out.

"Ohmigod!" Sam said. "She's right! Very few people are smart enough to know when I make a mistake! I must get to know this young cadet better, even though she is really annoying."

~~~~cue music from "Good Will Hunting"~~~~

"Here's a paper she wrote. I flunked her." The professor handed Sam a paper.

"Ohmigod it's totally brilliant you should have given her an A!" Sam exclaimed after flipping through the title page and first paragraph.

"It wasn't the assignment," the professor pointed out.

"So?" Sam asked. "Haley is obviously better than other people and the regular rules don't apply to her."

~~~~transition to headmaster's office~~~~

"Samantha!" the head dude exclaimed, hugging Sam. "I'm so glad to see you again! How are you?"

"I want to talk to you about Haley Whatzerlastname," Sam said. "I think she's a frickin' genius! She makes a chalkboard weep."

"I'm throwing her out of the academy because she beat the crap out of one of her fellow students."

~~~~cue music from "Good Will Hunting"~~~~

"Oh don't do that sir!" Sam exclaimed in dismay. "I'll give her some tough love and share a lot of classified information with her and reward her misbehavior by taking her on one of my top secret missions and she'll come right around!"

Haley entered the room.

"You think you're better than everyone else?" Sam asked Haley. "You're nothing but a very smart poopyhead! You suck! By the way, want to see why you should stay in the academy?"

"I hate you I hate you I hate you you're smarter than me okay!" Haley answered.

~~~~they step through the wormhole to the planet of the enraged fireflies~~~~

"I think we need to go with my plan to escape," Sam said.

"No, we should go with my plan which is totally opposite," Haley said. Sam and Haley glared at each other.

"I'm going with Sam's plan," Jack said. "Zat me, baby, like I've never been zatted before!"

"I hate grown ups they never listen to you even when you're smarter than they are!" Haley exclaimed, casting an accusing look at Sam.

"It doesn't matter," Sam said. "Jack will always choose the option where it's only his life in danger, not ours, because he's the hero."

"That's, like, dumb!" Haley exclaimed.

~~~~they get through the gate~~~~

"Well, I'm going to be a good girl from now on you've shown me the error of my ways," Haley said. "I want to go through wormholes and stuff!"

~~~~cue music from "Good Will Hunting"~~~~

"Aw, I love you, Haley!" Sam exclaimed, reaching out to hug Haley.

"Ohmigod! don't touch me, you freak!" Haley exclaimed. "I'm going back to the academy now. Maybe I won't drop out and become a mad scientist who rules the world after all."

The End