Author's Notes: This fic has nothing to do with Avenger 2.0. It has everything to do with The Avengers starring the impeccable Patrick MacNee and the unsurpassable Diana Rigg. The best tongue-in-cheek spy show ever!

WHO's IN IT: MiniJack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c! SUMMARY: Daniel and miniJack lurk in the shadows of CO Springs righting wrongs. RATING: G. Gen. Humor.
Thank you to Chrononaut for the Beta reading and suggestions.

This fic has nothing to do with Avenger 2.0. It has everything to do with The Avengers starring the impeccable Patrick MacNee and the unsurpassable Diana Rigg. The best tongue-in-cheek spy show ever!

Ninja Avenger
By Gategrrl

Jack adjusted his black commando vest. They just didn't make them small enough for his teenage frame, and the oily camouflage face make-up irritated his already acned skin. Not for the first time he wondered what the hell he was doing out here in the dead of a school night. On the one hand, he felt like an idiot skulking around the Springs dressed in black from head to toe. On the other hand, he enjoyed the workout, the camaraderie and the pure goofiness of it all.

A low whisper and a noise nearby locked his attention.

"Over there, Jack." Daniel, also dressed in black, also with black smudges on his face, motioned his hand in the direction of the alley half a block away. He fidgeted with anticipation.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Probably an alley cat getting in the trash." It wouldn't be the first time.

"Or it could be that mugger who's assaulted four women at last count," said Daniel. "This is his area."

"Daniel - didja ever think we or you could get arrested as that low-life?"

"Nope. We don't match his description: five-eight, twenties, long dirty blond hair, goatee. And no, it wouldn't matter, Jack." Jack watched Daniel's arm twitch as he tensed up.

Jack once again found himself looking up at Daniel as Daniel shot one him one of those 'are you really that lame' looks he'd developed lately. Geez, the latest missions must really be stressing Daniel out. Okay, doin' this ninja-commando crap was a good thing, then, Jack decided. High school hadn't exactly been a joy lately either.

Daniel pulled his Kendo shinai bamboo sword out and crept along the shadows. Jack shrugged and figured, what the hell. This was good for keeping his commando skills sharp, too. He wielded his shinai and deepened his concentration.

Daniel cautiously peeked around the corner into the alley. "What the --?"

Jack caught up with him and poked his head past Daniel chest. "What the ---?"

They both stared. There was a scruffy lookin' kid in the alley. But a tall, shorthaired blond with easy, practiced moves tossed him around like a hackey-sack. The mugger-rapist (they assumed it was the guy; he fit the description) slammed up against the brick alley wall with a thudding finality and fell over, "broken rag doll" written all over him. The blond straightened out her leather jacket and brushed some scuffs off her matching leather pants.

"Carter?" squeaked Jack.

"S-Sam?" stuttered Daniel.

Carter turned at the sound of their voices. Her eyes widened in surprise, then disbelief as Daniel and Jack crept out from around the corner into the alley.

There was silence for moment, broken only by the meow of a nearby alley cat.

"Batman and the Boy Wonder?" Full on amusement. Daniel whipped the bamboo sword behind his back.

"Emma Peel?" Jack dripped with sarcasm.

"What are you two doing...dressed like..." Carter flailed about searching for the correct word.

"Ninja?" Daniel ventured.

"I prefer 'dressed like a special ops team'," Jack said indignantly. He gestured toward the unconscious, out-classed criminal. "And what?"

Carter pulled a tiny cell phone out a jacket pocket and flipped it open. "I was walking to my car after going to a night club when this idiot attacked me. And your excuse is?"

"Uhh..." Yeah, Daniel couldn't come up with the reason fast enough.

"Now wait just a second here," protested Jack as Carter concentrated her Majorly gaze on him. "This ninja stuff was Daniel's idea. Not. Mine." He jabbed his index finger at Daniel to emphasize the origin of this crazy idea.

"I find that difficult to believe, young O'Neill," said a familiar, deep, and greatly amused voice.

Jack slapped a gloved hand over his face.

"What are you doing here?" Ah. Daniel, sensing an opening. He peeked through his fingers.

"I was speaking with the bouncer of the establishment Major Carter and I visited. She left to retrieve her car. I was awaiting her return, but too much time passed."

Jack slid his hand off his face and gaped at Teal'cs get-up. And he was gotten-up. Carter was in leather, but Teal'c was something else in a well-cut double-breasted pin-stripe suit and bowler. What the hell? He and Daniel glanced at each other, perplexed. The mugger-rapist on the ground groaned.

"I have to call the police now, guys," Carter said, waving her phone around. "Before he wakes up. I'd rather not knock him out again. Daniel?"

Daniel shrugged. "If he wakes up, I'll knock him out. I don't know about you, but when I get back from a mission, the adrenaline's still flowing, and heck, how often do I get to beat up the bad-guy? Really. You guys get all the action." He crossed his arms. "I haven't been working out for nothing, you know."

"And you, young O'Neill? Why do you dress as a ... ninja?" asked Teal'c.

"Commando. I'm a commando. Like I said, it was his idea. High school gym class doesn't cut it." Jack crossed his arms, too. Carter and Teal'c...there was something going on there, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Nightclubbing together? Dressed like that?

"And I spoiled your fun." Carter repressed an obvious wave of laughter. "Gotta call this in now. And your secret's safe with me - just don't let the Colonel know, you two."

Daniel and Jack both bowed, and in the way of ninjas and commandos, backed into the shadows and vanished.

"They are so weird," Sam said to Teal'c. She punched the speed-dial button on her cell phone.

"They might have thought of a better cover story, Samantha Carter," agreed Teal'c. "Perhaps next time we should coordinate our efforts."

Sam snorted after placing an anonymous tip on the police phone line. "No way. Mr. Steed."