Author's Notes: Takes place during Teal'cs recovery period during Orpheus, season 7. Minor AU. Assumes Fragile Balance happened in Season 6. PG-13 for language, including the "F" word (hey, it's Jack, you know!)

Timeframe: Takes place during Teal'cs recovery period during Orpheus, season 7. Summary: Mini-Jack and Daniel meet at the coffee house for another talk, about recent events and past deeds. Angst. Minor AU. Assumes Fragile Balance happened in Season 6. PG-13 for language, including the "F" word (hey, it's Jack, you know!) Spoilers for: minor for Need, Full Circle, Fallen, Orpheus Published in Pink Khaki, web-zine, in Issue #8 Jan/Feb 2004

There are Places I Remember

Jack waited in the back of the line for his turn to order coffee. Most places either wouldn't serve him, or gave him the evil eye for being kinda young to be drinking the stuff. But this place knew who its future customers were.

Out of an old, ingrained habit, he surreptitiously scanned the moderately busy room. Heh. Looked like his favorite study cubby-corner was empty, at least for now. He dropped his heavy blue backpack, dragging and kicking it along the decorative linoleum floor as the line moved forward.

Almost his turn. Jean the barista was taking a complex order from some stick-up-the-butt anal retentive coffee obsessive customer. He scanned again. This time, he felt a trifle disappointed. No Daniel. And he'd been coming here for weeks now, off and on, after school, to see if he'd show. Jack wanted to know how descension was working out. And damn, but he also needed help with his Italian. Arabic? No problem. Latin? Had it made. Ancient? Preferred not to think about it.

Anal-retentive finished ordering and he stepped up to the counter. He ordered his usual large dark roast, black, no cream, no sugar. Jean sighed and Jack smiled at her. It was nice being an easy to please customer. At least she didn't think he was a potential hooligan anymore.

A minute later, hot drink in hand, he bee-lined for his spot, and stopped short at the sight of a shoe, visible past the corner. Damn. But wait a second. That shoe?

It was Daniel. Jack grinned and was about to greet him, when he realized - this was Daniel in full self-protection mode. Arms crossed, head down, bent leg bouncing from unexpressed tension. What the hell was the man doing here if he was this upset?

Best way to find out, Jack decided, would be to ask him. The hell with homework. He knocked on the table. Once. Twice. Then: "Daniel. Daniel. Yoo hoo! Kree?"

His now older-than-him friend looked up.

Shit. He hadn't looked so bad in years. Bloodshot eyes. Scrunched up face. Hair all over the place. And a heavy case of five o'clock shadow. Made what Shyla did to him look like a walk through Toon Town. He lifted up the cup of cold coffee already on the table, and placed his in front of Daniel.

"Just a sec, 'kay Daniel? Be right back." Jack dumped his pack. He lifted one of those fancy thermos things off a shelf, brought it to the counter, and asked that it be filled. Jean nodded when he said, "Daniel." He kept glancing behind him to make certain his friend didn't leave. He handed the money over and grabbed the thermos when it was ready. He zipped back to the study table.

"Here," he said. He placed the new coffee-in-thermos in front of Daniel, and, using his best approximation of his adult 'don't mess with me, punk' voice, added, "Drink this. Now. And then tell me what's wrong."

It worked. Daniel blinked. His mouth moved. A flash of tongue on lip. Good. Progress. A hand lifted the proffered coffee. Blue eyes squinted as the hot stuff worked over taste buds and loosened up vocal chords.

Jack clamped his mouth shut. Both of his hands clutched his hot paper cup, making him sweat. Well, maybe it wasn't the coffee alone doing that. Had someone died? He visualized a hiking boot stomping that notion down into the ground where it belonged. No. No, no, no.

"Jack." Daniel had finished the coffee while he zoned out in his own fantastical worries.

"Yeah?" He leaned forward and scooted his chair closer to the table. "Are you a little more together there?"

Daniel spun the thermos between his fingers for a few moments. "Yes."

"Care to tell me...what's going on?" He bit his lower lip. "Or if you want, I can place a call to the Colonel. If you want." He so didn't want to do that.

Daniel lifted his eyes and looked at him unwaveringly for minute. Like he was debating something. Or measuring him up. Jack wasn't used to that, and suppressed a squirm.

Daniel started out quietly. "I've read all my journals. I've gotten through just about all the mission reports. I'm remembering a lot now. Some of the memories are just memories of memories. But at least they help fill the gaps."

"No more Swiss cheese?" Jack kept an impulsive grin off his face. Not the time, you dope; he mentally kicked himself. "That's good."

"Yeah. It's better. But my time, er, up there, has stayed a blank."

Jack nodded. "Well, they must have security issues too, I guess."

Daniel scrunched his face for a split second. "I'll be right back. Refill." About ten minutes later, and growing bored of table football, Jack was relieved when Daniel slid into the chair opposite him. He still looked like shit, but improved shit.

"So you've gotten the pot-holes in your head filled in, mostly, but can't remember anything of your year abroad. Is that bad?" He swigged from his now cooling coffee cup.

"No. And yes."

Jack waited for the other shoe to drop. He blinked and raised his eyebrow. And???

Daniel drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Teal'c caught a staff blast in the stomach."

"He okay? Junior?"

"Um, no Junior to damage. He takes a drug instead now. He would've died if he had Junior in his...well."

Jack felt his shoulder muscles relax. He hadn't realized how tense he was. "He's okay."

"Yes. Well. Will be. The drug doesn't accelerate healing, so..."

Jack blinked. "Oooh, the big guy's taking physical therapy. Talk about a paradigm shift!"

Daniel's eyebrows shot over the top rim of his glasses.

"Hey." Jack shifted in his seat. "It's a new term. Cut me some slack. High School's a lot different than it was thirty years ago." He cleared his throat. "Go on."

"According to Jack - you - whichever - Teal'cs lost his mojo. Without Junior...he's had a hard time adjusting."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. I'd say that. Good call."

"Then I remembered something from my year abroad."

Jack hesitated. "That's good. Right?"

Daniel nodded. He lifted his thermos up and drank. Setting it down, he said, "We'll be leaving in a couple of days to go after Bra'tac and Ry'ac. They're in one of Ba'als slave labor camps."

Jack grimaced and his upper lip curled at the mention of that name. It took him a second to compose himself. "You remembered that from?" He pointed a finger skywards.

"That's right."

"Then why do you look like death warmed over, Daniel?"

Again, Daniel visually inspected him.

"Will you stop that?"

His friend smiled wanly at him and directed his attention to the table top. "I've read almost all the mission reports."

"You mentioned that."

"Except the ones from late November of last year."

"Why not?"

"Password protected."

"Huh?" Jack frowned. As second-in-command of the SGC there were few-to-none mission reports he'd made off-limits to Daniel. Except the occasional covert operation report, or the ones the Pentagon tight-asses didn't want a mere civilian consultant to see.

"But."

"But?"

"I asked Jack about it, and everyone, at different times. I either got brushed off, distracted, told there'd been no missions that month..." Daniel drifted off.

"They stonewalled you? SG-1? Hammond?" Disbelief, utter and complete.

Daniel sighed. "I'm not one for conspiracies, but a klaxon sounded off in my head. But it was more like they were all nervous about something, rather than pulling an NID plot on me."

They were both silent for a while. Each drinking their coffee, each lost in separate bubbles of thought.

"Jack."

Jack tore his drifting thoughts back to earth.

"Jack, I don't know how else to say this."

"Then just say it."

"Abydos is gone, Jack."

"What?!" he snapped. More forcefully than he intended. "How could you ---." He stopped. "Oh."

Daniel's jaw moved, the muscles popping out. His fingers drummed the table in a rhythm less patter. "There were enough little pieces of the puzzle floating around. I guess my mind put it together. Last night." He paused and dragged air into his lungs, raggedly, forcing it in. "I had one of those clear-as-reality dreams. And I knew." His despair speared into Jack with a physical force. "Everyone. Everything. Anubis blasted it out of existence, Jack. Kasuf. Ska'ara. The town. A whole lot of the planet."

Jack was stunned. His mouth moved, but no sounds came out. Ska'ara? Gone? Just like that? He felt his mouth form the words. Shit. Now he really felt like a fifteen year old. "What happened?" he finally squeaked out.

"I was my fault. I made a deal with Anubis I knew he wouldn't keep. I assumed I'd be allowed to defend Abydos."

"You weren't allowed to interfere," Jack filled in. Oh, he remembered the conditions of Ascension Daniel told him about in Ba'al's freaky little happy place. They were silent again. To Jack, their silence dampened all the other sounds around them. Time felt like it stopped. All motion stopped.

Oh god. He was so out of practice being the Colonel, the tough as nails and eat'em for lunch wise-acre jackass Colonel. He may be a physically immature clone now, he thought, but he'd always envisioned himself growing up enough and stepping through the Stargate again. Hangin' out with Ska'ara, downing that lethal moonshine, doing, hell, family stuff.

There was something - he lifted his hand and his fingers touched a wetness on his cheek. He'd never - not ever - not even when Charlie, or Daniel, died in front of him.

"Jack. Jack."

He felt a hand grip him firmly by the upper arm and gently shake him. The cloud passed from in front of his eyes, and time clicked on again.

"You didn't know, did you Jack." A statement. Daniel's hand stayed on his arm. He didn't shake it off. The touch kept him grounded.

"Think they'd tell me?" he said bitterly. "I didn't even know you were alive until I saw you. Here, in this goddam coffee house. This fuckin' sucks!" He jumped up, knocked his chair over, knocked Daniel's hand off his arm, and charged out the back door.

He didn't care if Daniel followed him or not. Didn't care much about anything at the moment. The SGC, the Air Force, SG-1, the Asgard, they could all go to hell.

Wandering directionless through town, he recognized the abandoned building they'd found Teal'c in when those giant bugs nearly ate him up. Somehow, he found himself in a cold, empty room crouched into a ball, hugging his knees. The sun had set and it was as dark and cold as he felt inside. It was minutes before he realized someone was there with him. Wiping his eyes and nose with a sleeve cleared his head. A street light haloed Daniel's outline and for a second Jack thought for all the world he was seeing a fallen angel. And he'd never believed in that crap. Not since he was a little kid the first time around, anyway.

He clutched his down jacket closer. It was freezing cold in this room. He realized he'd left the coffee house without it and his back pack. Daniel. Of course.

"I'm sorry Jack." Daniel didn't move.

He found his voice. It felt raw and raspy. "It wasn't your fault."

"The choice was between losing Abydos or letting SG-1 get away with some vital information that could get rid of Anubis -- and the other system lords -- once and for all."

Jack closed his eyes as Daniel spoke. The fucking choices Daniel felt he had to make.

"You thought you could do more up there. That's what you told me. Oma didn't tell you what the rules meant. Not really. What happened is as much the Ancient's fault as anyone else's." He slipped his arms into his jacket sleeves and zipped it up. "They kicked Anubis out of wonderland, but didn't do as good a job on him as they did on you. Are you getting this, Daniel? Anubis killed Abydos. Killed all those people. He would've done it, deal or no deal. It what he does." Daniel was shaking his head.

Jack would've argued on, but he was exhausted. "Tell the Colonel you know, Daniel. Hammond and the others? They just wanted you clear of guilt for once. Then, do what SG-1 and the SGC has learned to do so well." Daniel's brow furrowed.

"Mourn. Grieve. Move on." Jack breathed a bracing blast of chill air and exhaled a satisfying cloud of mist. "We've gotten too blas about it. The Teflon SGC. Death just slides right off. Maybe Abydos was payback."

"Jack." A hint of reproach and equal devestation.

"Yeah. Yeah, so I'm getting bitter in my youth. Sue me." Feeling a shade more like himself, he struggled up on rubbery, pins and needles legs. Daniel hauled him up by the elbows.

"Dinner. On me."

"That little Italian place? You know -"

"Naw. McDonald's."

"Jeez, Daniel."

"Just kidding. Sure."

Jack limped out of the abandoned building, hefting his pack over his shoulder. Daniel called a taxi over a payphone. He'd left his car near the coffee house. While they waited, they stood, faces raised to the night sky, full of thousands of stars. Their mourning for Abydos had just begun. Jack knew it would last a long time. No matter what he'd said about moving on. And suddenly, he wanted to more than ever to go through the Stargate again. Maybe with Daniel by his side; and Teal'c; and Carter. He wanted to kick some Goa'uld ass. For Abydos. And Ska'ara.